So, I smoked from the age of 12 to 40 yrs of age. I loved , it loved , it loved. It was the best part of the day , every time i opened a fresh pack and could smell the fresh tobacco.Hmmmmmm!!! Still imagine it .
I never smoked in the morning, I hated it but from midday on I was on it like a comet. LOOOOOVVVVED it !!
Now! I don’t know a smoker that doesn’t love smoking, not just because they are addicted to the nicotine, but because it is kind of part of who they are and how they manouevre through a day.
Their is always a reason for a smoke. A smoke break at work, on the toilet never did that but i know many do, drinking, in pubs for smirting outside, in the old smoking days it was the punctuation in the drunken story in the pub. It is a punctuation still!
After dinner, When you are pissed off, a celebration , a friend has a story to tell so its “hang on! hang on! let me light up first , do you want one ?”
I mean, I understand these pics are dramatic and as a non smoker now i am on the side of “stop the f**k” but will it make a difference ??these pics dont work for 99.9% of smokers.
We know, we hear the cough, we smell our clothes, we see our stained teeth and fingers, the dirty ashtrays, we catch our breath running for the bus.
We hear people who love us tell us we should stop and try everything, we simply don’t want to it’s as simple as that. Why ? Because we like it. Thats why.
When i gave up i had only previously tried once before, i bought that nicorette plastic thing and smoked that . I could be seen in Dalkey puffing away on what i called my tampon, because it looked like one. problem was it was more attention seeking than committing to it, i was smoking 20 – 40 sometimes up to 60 a day, training hard skinny as a rake and loving it. anyway , it didnt work and as a n excuse i started smoking and using it even though it explicitly tells you not to , i did anyway, what harm never believe what im told anyway !!!! Then i broke out in terrible acne boils everywhere. Couldn’t figure it out the nausea was terrible. I realised after a few weeks it was the nicorette thing with the smokes, so what did i do, threw the tampon out , dangerous aul thing !!! smoking is safer smile emoticon Yes, ! I said that ! . Thrilled to be a smoker again smile emoticon We all need vices right ? Thats what keeps us interesting !!!! maybe smile emoticon
Anyway, Then I hit 40 and i got pneumonia, awful , was so feicin ill for 6 weeks. So I thought I’m off the smokes, 6 weeks now, might be a good time not to start again. Not really thinking, its not he drug itself, it’s the whole thing.
Back to work . I was working out clients up to 6 hours a day plus my own training , going out and stuff and started again, because well I missed it and felt better. It was a decision, not a slip like most smokers tell you, I decided I wanted to smoke I’m a smoker, I like it, I miss it, so off I went.
Then 3 months later relapse , pneumonia again, HOLY SHIT, that was bad, so, so, so, so, sick. I’ll Never forget it. I Was sick for 3 months. Recovered slowly, for another 3. So at that point I knew the fags had pushed me over the edge and i did not want to go there again. So I stopped . I committed this time.
That was 10 years ago. I’m only now, not a smoker anymore, Smokers will get this , it took me a long time . Now and then I crave one, but it’s not the drug it’s situational. A memory, so I allow myself the smoke, it’s never pleasant but fine after the first one and I’m back, usually a few drinks and good company with smokers sets me off, if we are all in a place we can smoke freely.Animated and having the craic. I never have the urge to go back and smoke again I’m done with it, in fact i hate it, i hate the smell off people who smoke, the breath, the yellow fingers and teeth and the whang of the clothes. I hate going into a place full of smoke when i used to loooooovvvveee it, it defined the place, I look at women with smokers lines and listen to the hack off blokes as they spit out phleghm and I think , jaysus, yeeeuuukkk.
I gave up this way. , i kept cigarettes in my bag, car and house. Every time i wanted a smoke, i went through the same ritual, as if i was going to smoke right up to my mouth and then i would say , if I want it in five minutes time , i’ ll have it then and put it back in the box, i nearly never had one for a year. then i moved the smokes out of my bag and just had them in the car under the seat and then i put them on a top shelf in the house. Now i know this all sounds psychotic, it likely is, but as i have no willpower, I’m all in with everything. a devil on one shoulder and a n angel on the other, it was the only way i could trick myself.
Going out was shit, Thank God for the smoking ban. Unfortunately my back went after the pneumonia very badly from coughing, I guess and i then found that food tasted amazing. I mean spectacular! I couldn’t stop eating. So instead of the pub i moved to restaurants and at home instead of a smoke and a cup of tea moved to wine and cheese. OOOOPPPSSS!!!! Mistake. Don’t know how you combat the situational stuff when you give up must be the same with booze and drugs generally, because its all associated with a good time and we move from group to group to keep experiencing our thing whatever that is, with me and the ciggies it was the pub mostly before the smoking ban, im sure for everyone we have our thing.
Anyway I’m writing this because today for some strange reason im missing smoking , alot, i looked at this pic and realised that wouldn’t put me off and have 2 friends who survived lung cancer in the past few years. Don’t think it’s an easy thing to do , it is not but i suppose finding a way to adjust your situation to stop your addiction is probably the key. In my case Pneumonia and the smoking ban, for others i’d be interested to hear. I firmly believe the vape things will be found to be lethal in years to come. So really if you are going to give up smoking, booze food, drugs any addictions, what ever they are , how do you change your circumstances to allow it ?.
Tough one, but as a friend recently got the all clear on lung cancer and I see these lungs i think to myself that still wouldn’t have stopped my addiction to the nicotine unless i committed . It’s like anything and i did and I’m free of the cigarettes. It doesn’t define me anymore, like i thought it did. I was always sooo fit because of the job so the old adage of take up a sport wasn’t an option for me, i had to find a way to forget and change habits. Tell me how you gave up your addiction to whatever it is, coffee smokes drugs etc. Id love to hear about it as i sit here thinking about coffee sun and a smoke at sunset 💖💖 Niamh

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