So the snow arrived yesterday and my day went a bit like this…

8:00am. I made a snowman.

8:10am. A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15am. So, I made a snow woman.

8:17am. The nanny of the neighbours complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest.

8:20am. The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:25am. The vegans at the end of the road complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28am. I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31am. The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

8:40am. Someone calls the Police, who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42am. I am told that the broomstick of the snowman, needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.

8:45am. TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am called a sexist.

8:52am. My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being handcuffed and taken to the police station in a marked van.

9:00am. I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10am. I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29am. A little-known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the world in which we live today!